Losses & Gains Part 2
If this were a movie, this part from September to say early December would be that musical montage where lots happens, there is a lot of hard work and then resolution.
It was a blur. It was full of starts and stops and I was stunned for most of it. I tried to make the best decisions possible, not only for all my genealogy research, but for all the stuff, our place and for us.
Helene hit and our house became uninhabitable. We were in a hotel and could only bring our essentials. The portrait of my grandmother had to stay behind. My mom's wedding album, my dad's beloved high school yearbooks, photos, important, treasured items, documents, art and everything, but what we needed to get through the next few days.
Yes, some of it is only stuff. But it's my stuff. And a lot of if was sentimental and important to me. I wanted it. I deserved it. I am by no means a hoarder. And yes were lucky that a good deal of our stuff was not floating down Trouble Creek road to the Anclote.
But when we packed up to head to the hotel I could pack up any of my genealogy boxes. They were left behind and it kind of broke my heart. Before the storm I carefully wrapped and boxed and stored everything I could on the kitchen table. I put things in lucite storage containers about 4 or 5 feet off the ground and hoped for the best. I was so naive thinking we could move back in soon after the power came on. But what did I know? I was in for an education.
The Monday after Helene, my mom fell in the bathroom of the hotel as we were heading back to the condo to see what else we could do. We still had no power. Rumors were flying through the neighborhood Facebook about Duke Energy inspecting everything before we could go back and how long that process was going to take. All I could see were dollar signs. The hotel, eating out, repairs. It was already adding up.
We spent the next 8 hours in the ER of a hospital we had never been to in a town we knew nothing about because it was the closest one to the hotel. New doctors, new everything.
My mom was in serious pain. She had a horrible summer in and out of the hospital for her back and then for some other things. She had surgery and was still not fully recovered. I still think back on that day and all the things I did wrong. I shouldn't have rushed her, I shouldn't have suggested she use a non handicapped equipped bathroom.
At about 9pm she was transferred to St Joe's in Tampa. Another new experience for us. And for me actually learning how to get there and to drive in this city. A new surgeon, Dr. Comey, turned out to be the best thing that every happened to her, for her back anyway. He not only corrected her current problem, he improved on the surgery she had in August. A win win.
The down side of all that is the hospital was in Tampa, a good hour from our house. Now I am staying in a hotel alone, trying to prioritize being with her, figuring out what I need to do to apply for FEMA and other aid, of and maybe going to work once in a while.
I missed the big HOA meeting telling us we have about 2 weeks to get all our stuff out of the condo because it was during my mom's surgery. My friend Nicole gave up her free time to go to it and take notes and fill me in. It was unbelievable. I was so unprepared for all of this literally, emotionally and most of all financially.
I had to get my head around the fact that we were basically homeless. The power was back on and I could stay in the condo if I chose to until October 17 but after that we had to be out. And nobody could say for how long. It's now six months later and they still can't.
It is no secret that I complained a lot about living in Florida and have more than once tried to convince my mom to pull up stakes and move back to NY. In fact, this past August when Stephanie was in town for mom's back surgery we discussed it in depth. Maybe it was her pain pills, maybe she saw how hard it was getting to be to work and care for her. But she agreed. We called it the real project 2025. We would go through her things- the tchotchtkes, the clothes etc. We would pare down what we could and then after a little sprucing, put the place on the market. We thought we had plenty of time to do it and do it right.
Another few weeks of blur. I make lots of runs to Home Depot for boxes, bubble wrap and tape. I make runs of things we don't need or want to Hospice. There is talk of mom leaving the hospital and going to a rehab for a few weeks. This would be good for both of us. I could focus on packing up the house and maybe going to work a couple of hours a day and she could focus on rehabbing and getting better.
It's hard to know how much my mother knew or realized what was happening at this time. We told her and told her again and maybe she was better off getting all this news, this life changing news in bite sized pieces.
All talk of finding a rehab was put on hold when news of a new hurricane was on the horizon. All the care facilities in Pasco were evacuating to Tampa. Stephanie who came to town to help me pack up the house was now helping me prep for another evacuation. She found us one of the last hotel rooms in Wesley Chapel. We had to be out of the condo by Monday 11am.
Fortunately, I never unpacked all the important and sentimental items and boxes of genealogical research from my kitchen table. I prayed they would be OK four or so feet off the ground. I had a backpack full of important papers like our passports and birth certificates and a box of my mom's jewelry like her wedding ring and some other things I thought were valuable.
Monday we drove to the hospital to try and explain to my mom what was happening and how we may not be able to see her for a couple of days. Traffic with everyone fleeing was horrendous and I was trying to conserve my gasoline.
If it wasn't for the doom of the impending storm, it may have been a nice little vacation. Stephanie was able to work from the hotel room. I was able to do some work from the hotel. I worked on mom's bills and a few of my own. I tried not to think of the precious packing days we were missing. Or where the stuff was going to be stored and for how long and how I was going to pay for it. Stephanie found a VRBO a cute little apartment for me while mom was in rehab and we would need to figure out the rest later.
There were a few nice restaurants in the cul-de-sac of our hotel and we got to enjoy a few nice meals before the power went out. Our room had a fridge and we brought our cooler and lots of snacks, unsure of how long we were going to be there. And hoping we could go home before our check out time.
We would call mom every couple of hours. She seemed to be unaware of the danger lurking but didn't seem angry we weren't there. The hospital went on lock down so I couldn't drive there if I wanted to. I am sure if Stephanie wasn't there I would have just stayed at the hospital.
Milton hit Wednesday night. We were on the top floor of the hotel and felt every bit of the wind. The power did go out over night. Fortunately, the hotel had a generator so the elevators still worked. But that was all. The kitchen was only serving what they could. The staff that stayed were great, helping where and when they can. Some had family members staying too. There was great comradery at the hotel among the guests. Especially Wednesday night when we still had power and the bar was open. Lots of people filled the bar area and lobby. A news crew was doing spots from the parking lot, telling viewers to stay off the roads.
Eventually the wind and rain slowed and then stopped. From our window at the top of the hotel we could see the flooding and downed branches and trees. We could see the nearby highway empty of cars and trucks. It was eerie.
We got through another hurricane. For Thursday, while there was no power and we waited to hear about the damage to roads and neighborhoods, we were in a little limbo. There was nothing to do but worry and wait.
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